QWERTY: "linkedBIN"

It's a public holiday in my home town of Melbourne, so I tap-tap-tippy-tapped on my key-key-keyboard about our favourite insufferable corner of the internet, with some opinionated opinions.

Hi Linkedin, I’d like to write you a little note.

Just a lil late September 2025 ping to let you know that unfortunately for all of us just trying to build businesses over here:

You’re a Bin.

I don’t feel bad writing that, and tbh, I’d doubt you’re even self-aware to realise that, either.

You’ve fattened up your stakeholders wallets by having chronically online people like myself post and post and comment and post, stepping over some invisible threshold into your domain where it seems sarcasm has never existed, and the most banal and disingenuous human interactions are encouraged.

TL;DR - I feel like I’m taking crazy pills on your website. Insane we (might) still view you as important.

To be perfectly direct in this article, this isn’t directed at any specific individuals, and most definitely at the way this website has developed over time (though a few people should chickity-check themselves at the importance they place on their personal brand-building on this abomination. Probably me haha)

So, as I launch into spotlighting some of the insane things that your product people have conceived LI (fUcKiNg PuZzLe GaMeS?!?!) I’ll check myself quickly and ask a balanced question: Is it me? Am I the Asshole?

*Thinks for 1 second*

A: “No”

tHe AlGoRiThM

Ah, the algorithm. Your mighty algorithm. I’d honestly be shocked if there is one, or if you even know what you’ve built. Weeks old posts in my feed? Sure!

Healthy debate posts throttled? Absolutely!!

Boosted engagement on the sloppiest SLOP, while some pretty important announcements (that realistically should be reaching me) go unseen? You betcha!!!

Sooooo Mannnnyyyyyyy Ruuuuulllleeeesssss

For a website that you’ve scaled and reaped a mountain of valuation increases based on farming cheap opinions, happy to give you another one, for free. On the house. For the cost of nada. An opinion gift, from me to you:

We’ve grown tired of your milquetoast product, and we’re leaving soon.

An incumbent will head along soon and do it better, and the people will bounce out, because this ain’t no community.

It’s just the best place to do business stuff (or at least was) and now it’s just a distraction, and we’ve been officially dumbed down, thanks to your rules.

Linkedin promoting their own people to promote video.

I could go on for an eternity here at the incredulous use of linkedin continuously boosting their employees and other linkedfluencers to shill the use of video as the way forward. Here’s a small image sample of a bunch of promoted posts that show up in my feed as the second post, every time I open it.

Have you seen the way your ads backend exists LinkedIn? It’s A) the worst UX and B) You’re sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo expensive. We’re in a cost-of-living crisis here, the $ aren’t there to be spent on this ‘experiment’ and the ROI barely stacks up for the majority.

👏 It’s 👏 Not 👏 Fun 👏 Opening 👏 Your 👏 Website 👏

Savagely throttling peoples’ important posts

If you follow Cindy Gallop, you’ll note that she bangs on continuously about her mass amount of followers not seeing her posts. Posts which usually focus specifically on championing women founders, highlighting ethical technology, spotlighting the role pornography plays in our society, and a number of other self-aware social issues that should definitely play a part in forming a healthy, balanced opinion about the society we exist in, no matter the industry.

If you view Linkedin as simply a whimsical corner of the internet where we shitpost and some people receive outsized vanity metrics for memes and mucking around in our own slightly embarrassing ways, remember this:

Some people have extremely important issues to share, to spark debate and ignite a conversation, and the ability to reach people who need to hear this shouldn’t also be reliant that the person posting it needs to have a fantastic cheap hook, or brilliantly designed graphics included, or any other cheap marketing tactic with buzzwords like AI, fundraising and more included in the opening statements to ensure people ‘read more.’

I used to just think it was a funny observation that a bunch of white dudes would usually get the majority of reach from posts, from what I was noticing. Then I realised it was a consistent trend, and it wasn’t funny anymore.

Linkedin, you might not believe that it’s your responsibility to ensure that important discussion points are amplified.

That’s ok. Another platform will come capitalise on this, soon, and the people will leave (if not already).

Fire your product team.

That’s right. Fire your product team.

Some unbelievably questionable tactics utilised by your company to amplify engagement at certain time-periods.

We grew tired of those past ones, and we’ll grow tired of the current ones. Couple of choice cuts past and present listed below:

‘Contribute your opinions to drive a conversation (for free)?’

Fuck off.

‘Play Puzzle Games and share with your audience?’

Fuck right off.

‘Rolling out Reels, just like IG has, so people can get more exposed to the realness of their connections?’

Last I checked, I needed to follow someone on IG so I can see that content. Not have it forced on me just because some random connected with me and I bit, and now they’re creating random reels about their excitement about openAI. Get absolutely fucked.

Do better.

This rant has an end point

I could go on forever and ever. As someone who gladly mucked around and experimented with the platform, enjoying using it in a bit of the same way as ‘old twitter’ it was enjoyable for a while there, but by god, it has waned, and to be perfectly candid, the fatigue from operating inside it has reached the point that it’s at an irrelevent point in my day-to-day as something important to keep going, and instead, just something I experiment with, without taking an interest in the vanity metrics that drive this addictive behaviour.

“Oh that’s cool - my off-hand comment on a friends post just got twice the impressions than a quite important campaign I was running that probably needed some eyeballs on it so I can achieve some goals.”

Just trying to run a business here, and support other people doing likewise.

Had my fun, reaped some benefits from it, have mentally moved on.

See you in the real world people, it’s garbage collection time, so I’m gathering up the scraps and putting it somewhere out-of-sight soon, bin juice and all.

SOCIALS:

GROUP GROUP LinkedIn (LOL): https://www.linkedin.com/company/grpgrp/

GROUP GROUP Instagram: @grpgrp_

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